Authors interviewed by Wantz Upon A Time will be asked to choose one of the following questions ahead of time, answer it as they see fit, and then e-mail it to Christina. It could be one sentence, a paragraph, or a short story. If they want to answer more than one, that's fine, too! It's wide open.

The first ten questions are scenarios that range from potentially funny to outright crazy. These are the "Scenario" questions. The other ten questions are one-line mundane questions, each quirky in its own way.

Have fun!

The Scenario Questions:

1. An old classmate you barely remember shows up at your door bearing a check for a million dollars. A camera crew and TV host are present, and the host explains that you may share the money with the classmate, if you agree to do something. What is the most outrageous stunt you would be willing to do for the money?
2. The Pentagon calls you one day, demanding your presence in Washington. An alien race has been monitoring our planet for years and has decided to initiate contact. Their representative has become one of your biggest fans, so their government insists you represent Earth. What would this be like, and what would you do?
3. A good friend invites you on a cross-country trip. You’ve cleared your schedule and look forward to the time away from deadline and family pressures. As you drift through the western plains, your friend’s behavior grows erratic. You catch him/her sculpting a mountain out of mashed potatoes, which is a little too much like a certain movie. What is your friend doing, and how serious is it?
4. Massive amounts of unusual radiation have penetrated Earth’s atmosphere. Scientists don’t know what it is or where it came from, but it’s causing strange manifestations/mutations among people all over the globe. You are affected. What happens?
5. An obscure relative has passed away and left you all their worldly possessions, which include a formidable estate with a successful garden center. To claim your inheritance, you must live on the grounds through the center’s upcoming busy season. If you don’t, the business will close, and the land will be granted to the government. This shouldn’t be a problem, but the locals are adamant that you leave forever. Why, and what measures do they take to discourage you?
6. *From a dream I had as a young child, so don’t blame me too much for this one!* You live in an old farmhouse miles from town. The gravel driveway goes a good tenth of a mile along the neighboring forest. Usually, the trees and animals are a comforting presence, until something awful happens. You hear a loud whistle, and a fungus shoots up, up, up—taller than the trees. The mushroom cap cracks open to reveal carnivorous teeth. The man-eating-mushroom trees sway until they reach for you… What the heck do you do?
7. The phone rings. You hear someone breathing, but they don’t speak. It’s a crank call, of course. It rings again. The caller ID shows a different number, but it’s the same breathing. This time, there’s the sound of dripping water beyond the breathing. You hang up. It happens over and over, each time with a different number on the ID, and with a different, eerie noise in the background. Just when you’re ready to call the police, the phone rings again. This time it’s a phone number you recognize… What happens?
8. Your neighbor’s kid is watching Dumbo next door, and you can hear it through their open window. The soundtrack is so familiar you sing along without thinking about it. A breeze comes from nowhere on an otherwise still, cloudless day. You don’t think anything of it until several shadows race across the deck, faster than any clouds, but just as silent. You look up and see something, but not birds or airplanes. What’s going on?
9. You discover you possess an amazing talent. It’s so unheard of that you’re sure it must be your imagination. But it’s real, and with it you can change the country, if not the world. What’s your talent?
10. Family Guy is playing on the TV. Brian and Stewie are going on about something, as usual. Your dog, your faithful companion, plops on the couch next to you and demands a good scratching. Brian says something particularly sarcastic on the TV. Your dog jumps to his/her feet and says, “You’ve got to be kidding me! That dog talks, too?!” What do you do?

The Mundane, yet Quirky, Questions:

11. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done with a can of soda?
12. White, pastel, or neon index cards, or PDA all the way? Why?
13. What cartoon character: A. Do you identify with the most? B. Would you LIKE to identify with the most? (Please answer both parts.)
14. Where’s the best place to eat a PB&J sandwich? If you can’t have milk, what would you drink with it?
15. Where / what is the strangest place you ever visited?
16. Where do all the missing socks go?
17. What is your favorite conspiracy theory?
18. What’s the best practical joke you ever pulled?
19. What’s the best practical joke ever pulled on you?
20. What’s the most bizarre food you have ever eaten?